Ready for Change!

So I didn't post after my last race... But I ran the whole thing! I have to post my pic I felt extremely dizzy afterwards but I was sooooooo proud! So now I'm running the three miles around my neighborhood no prob which means I need to take it up a notch. 7 weeks ago I couldn't & now I can! I am just amazed at what my perserverance & dedication is bringing me. I took like 30 seconds off of my time! I didn't expect to because I got soooo tired in the last mile. I didn't realize it at the time but my races were in the same week! My next race is June 12th The race for the cure in Downtown STL. I'm excited because it should be flat and since I've been training on hills this should be a piece of cake!
So off of racing news...I was praying one night and I was overwhelmed with how good God has been to me. I looked around my house and I was so grateful. I couldn't believe that I had practically rehabbed my house myself. I know that nothing is impossible with God! I cried because mostly all of my twenties were spent struggling with my job, weight, and destructive relationships. I've known how much God loves me & accepts me as I am! I wanted to change not because I felt i needed to change for to give God the glory. I love my job,but I feel as if my season there is over. I'm ready for a new adventure. We'll see if that is what God has in the plans for me. I have two interviews tonight so I'm praying & I hope you all will be as well. Deuces peeps!

The Running Diva

I am so proud and excited to say that I am up to jogging (not running) 3miles! PRAISE THE LORD! Getting up early and hitting the streets has paid off. Each race that I complete I knock a few minutes off of my time! I've been jogging for 5 weeks now and I can see myself getting toned especially my legs, but they were already hot anyway. I'm wondering when I should attempt my first 10k I'll just take it slow... I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I know that if I stay on the course that I’m on I'll reach my goals.
I was reading my journals from past years and I am disappointed to say that I have been struggling with the same issues for the past 5 years! I want to break free from this bondage and move on to bigger and better things that God has for me! I have let go and let God show me what he has for me. This so hard for me because I am a control freak, but God is truly the one in control so I just worry & get my panties in a bunch for nothing. I control nothing!
So my house is still coming along quite slowly.... I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time... I think did I take on too much (as I often do) I Love my house & I thank God for it. I just get frustrated. I love the fact that my house is so me... the house it has awesome structure but there is work t0 be done on the outside... it still looks great but there is so much that I want to do with it. The inside of the house has gotten a total overhaul I'm still working on it but everything is mainly where I want it to go, organized, but still a little messy, colorful, expressive, and unique. All of this is the essence of me. I look forward to summer vaca because It will be a time for me to work on my house & train for my races! Yay!
Pray for my training I’ve got another race coming up Saturday! I hope to do BIG things!

All Moved in Legally!!

So yeah I've been super busy.. & I don’t have internet access at the crib (trying to save$). So Since that last post so much has happened! All good.. all good. I have been trusting that God was going to work out the problems in my house & he did. If you pray God will open doors and place the right people on your paths! You Better Praise Him!
After I tabulated the results I slept on the floor/air mattress for 16 weeks! It wasn't that bad, but I totally thank God for my bed! There were times when I would just cry because I missed sleeping in my bed and sitting on my couch & the whole rehab process just seemed never ending. I prayed and thanked God anyway! It’s my house so I was sleeping on MY floor! Anything worth having is worth working hard for.
I became conditionally legal on March 8th and totally legal on April 8th. The boys got to come home. It was and has been a difficult adjustment for them as well as for me. I had grown accustomed to them not being there. The unpacking is sailing along quite smoothly. My vision for my home is becoming a reality! Yay!
I prayed that I would get that retaining wall taken care of for under $1000 and he came through! I had awesome friends come over and help me clean up the 3 years worth of yard waste in my yard. I love all of them dearly for allowing God to use them as a blessing to me. I still get choked up when I think about the how supportive they were throughout the whole process.
I’m not done with the house, and I’ll probably never be but it is sooooo fun getting it the way that I want it. Okay okay enough about the house for now..
So I’ve decided that I want to start running (jogging) again. I was just disappointed in myself with how I don’t pay as much attention to my fitness as I need to. As I come upon my 30th year of life & my fourth decade on earth I want to take better care of myself. So I’ve been participating in races I have 2 under my belt so far and another on Saturday! (GOOOOO ESH!) I get better with each run and I have been disciplined to get up each morning & I’m out of the house by 5:30. I have at least on one a month scheduled until November. I need to find a December race I might have to travel to do one… my goal is to complete my first half-marathon @ Disney..The Princess marathon... for those of you who know me you know that this is a fitting race for my personality. You would also know that once I set my mind to something it’s already done. That’s just how I roll…sometimes that determination & perseverance is good, but I can think of times in my past where it wasn’t…hmmm.
So on to another subject…Dating yeah still not happening... I’m okay with that. I’m too busy with other things. I think when the situation presents its self I’ll be open. I have a totally different perspective about the dating scene now. Oh well I’m done…I’m gonna finish my lunch...Deuces peeps.

A'isha & the "Dream"house

Okay...

So I bought a great fixer-upper in an awesome neighborhood..God is and has been taking me on the most awesome spritual experience throughout this whole ordeal. Before I even got the house there have been so many things that let me see God working things out for me...

I knew that buying the house was only half of the battle. Now Im actually in full blown war! I'm fixing up my home "solo" which makes me kind of long for a significant other. But we'll get into that later... I have cut down all of those lovely bushes that you see in front of the house. I was at home depot and I walked past a chainsaw and I said, "hmmm I can do it. they can help.." lol. I've patched cracks in the wall and in the ceiling! I painted my living room, office, bedroom, and my breezeway(sittng room). I've ripped up the carpet and gotten up that pesky carpet tack strip. I get so frustrated because I dont feel as if I'm working fast enough.

Since I turned 28 I've been reflecting on my life. I feel like I haven't had too much change since I graduated with my undergraduate degree in 2003. Of course we all have plans for our lives, but God plans trump ours. I kind of wanted to be married with a kid in the oven by now, but oh well. I finished my master's degree back in May and now I'm like what's next. I need to be doing something productive with myself. I look back at my life around this time last year and I can say that I have made lots of progress, but as a perfectionist I don't think i'll ever be satisfied with myself. I always feel like I can do better and be better. Sometimes I think that's a good thing while at others that it can sort of be a curse.

So while I am working on perfecting myself I decided not to date for a year because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I felt like I needed to heal from the situation. So now that I put myself back on the market I still feel really afraid to date. I know that that's probably not healthy, so i'll probably just not date. It's not like I have any high quality guys beating down my door anyway. My friends all do these impersonations of me to illustrate to me why I'm single. I think that they are hilarious, but maybe they're right. I won't settle anymore for just anybody which I did in the past and I'd rather be alone than to put up with some of the things that I see other females enduring just to say that they have a man. I say that God has the right person for me and when he's ready for us to meet I guess we that when everything will jump off.

I can honestly say that i'm content with my singleness, but at times I get lonely. I am so comfortable in my life and not thinking about anyone's needs other than my own I think it would be hard to adjust to a realtionship. I actually feel that my dog needs too much attention right now lol.

I look at the state of my spiritual life and I know that I just need to stay focused on God and when I would be in a relationship my focus would change. So I think to myself that if I couldn't be faithful to God how could I be faithful to a man.