Since I turned 28 I've been reflecting on my life. I feel like I haven't had too much change since I graduated with my undergraduate degree in 2003. Of course we all have plans for our lives, but God plans trump ours. I kind of wanted to be married with a kid in the oven by now, but oh well. I finished my master's degree back in May and now I'm like what's next. I need to be doing something productive with myself. I look back at my life around this time last year and I can say that I have made lots of progress, but as a perfectionist I don't think i'll ever be satisfied with myself. I always feel like I can do better and be better. Sometimes I think that's a good thing while at others that it can sort of be a curse.

So while I am working on perfecting myself I decided not to date for a year because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I felt like I needed to heal from the situation. So now that I put myself back on the market I still feel really afraid to date. I know that that's probably not healthy, so i'll probably just not date. It's not like I have any high quality guys beating down my door anyway. My friends all do these impersonations of me to illustrate to me why I'm single. I think that they are hilarious, but maybe they're right. I won't settle anymore for just anybody which I did in the past and I'd rather be alone than to put up with some of the things that I see other females enduring just to say that they have a man. I say that God has the right person for me and when he's ready for us to meet I guess we that when everything will jump off.

I can honestly say that i'm content with my singleness, but at times I get lonely. I am so comfortable in my life and not thinking about anyone's needs other than my own I think it would be hard to adjust to a realtionship. I actually feel that my dog needs too much attention right now lol.

I look at the state of my spiritual life and I know that I just need to stay focused on God and when I would be in a relationship my focus would change. So I think to myself that if I couldn't be faithful to God how could I be faithful to a man.